Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
