Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
