I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
