Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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