he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize