oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
