Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize
