This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
My feet surprised me
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
