The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
