Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
What a dumb baby whore.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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