At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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