Non-Jews are for practice
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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