I just made out with a guy for $7.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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