Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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