it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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