I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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