ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
