i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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