i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
