I met the friendliest cop last night
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
