I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
