C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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