Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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