So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
