why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
