I think my fart just growled at me.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
