I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
