Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
