And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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