You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize