I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
