I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Still dying that you shit outside
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
