yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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