Christians are straight up FREAKS
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize