Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She even gives head with a lisp.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
