handjob tips. give me some.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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