did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
