no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
We are all done wearing pants today
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
