He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
