i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
