I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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