Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize