Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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