Don't you send me to vm
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
you traded sex for a burrito?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
