So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
