So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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