Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
