Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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