sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
