So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
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