I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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