i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
