Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
