you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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