I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
