its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
why does every cop we meet know your name?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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