Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
