a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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