why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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