I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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