I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
