Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize