We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
