Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Randomize