You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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