no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
