One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
