I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
