so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
