i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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