Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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