I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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