My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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