party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize