You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
